i’m on the laptop at work. it’s the last hour of my monday.

yesterday’s content shoot was beyond succesful, everything looks awesome. i feel like… when it comes to posting on social media, i’m fighting against an algorithm that doesnt favor me and the way i like to post anymore. that’s fine, no problem. i’ll still put my best foot forward, that’s all i can do… while i think the label submitted ‘Playground’ as the push track, ‘Forget We Ever Met’ has the best video with ‘Steady’ being a close second. noooo problem :-)

i have gratitude for every part of this process and i love every part of it and me typing it out right now is me reminding and affirming myself that, lol. i do all this for me. for my joy. because if i didn’t try my hardest, i wouldn’t be authentically living as myself. it’s in my nature to persevere, to transmute, to slayyy. slaying is inevitable, i remind myself. it’s never been my job to convince anyone to fuck with me. all i can do is present these vulnerable, beautiful parts of me—be it via songs or outfits or words or vibes—as truthfully as possible and to the best of my ability. that’s how i slay.

i want new bluetooth headphones for christmas. and some snow boots and more cropped (but warm) jackets. i need to compile a cohesive wishlist and get one of my lil boyfriends to be my santa. this new york cold is nooo joke man, wtf. i’m certainly happy to be going home for the holidays. i know it’s gotta feel better than this in LA. speaking of that: my mom and i spoke on the phone the other night and she told me (in the sweetest way possible) i gotta stay with my big brother when i come home because [she knows ima hot girl and] she don’t wanna be worried about where i’m at when i come home late. she’s real for that. malik recently got a crazy good job and moved into a fancy new apartment with two bedrooms so i don’t mind that at all, actually. no problem. i expect it to be fun, actually. :-)

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