on my job’s laptop, highly caffeinated, full of thoughts!! today is monday, but it’s my friday. after working 4 days in a row, i’ll get 3 off days back-to-back-to-back. yayy. i’m getting over some sniffles and my period should be done by tomorrow. i’ll be in peak form again soon. lately, i’ve been feeling more motivated than normal. i must be emboldened by the fact that i have 3 really good songs coming out in a few (3) weeks. i’ve been posting on socials more, which pleases the team. it’s so interesting to be an artist whose origins are so, deeply rooted in the internet and DIY culture during an era (now) that feels like an imitation and a misrepresented regurgitation of that time period. i’m a classic 2010s soundcloud singer who had a song blow up in 2017. in the years leading up to that moment, i was outside doing backyard shows, warehouse shows, art shows——you name it——put together by my teenaged peers all over LA. from the south bay to downtown to santa monica to the valley. then, suddenly, a song i made with my internet friends exploded on accident. these days, it feels like it’s the artist’s objective to make that kind of magic happen on purpose. what a bummer. luckily, i’m something of a magician myself.

i’ve been telling everyone that this time of year always feels so special and full of possibility because during winter break 2016 (my senior year), i lied to my mother about my whereabouts and snuck off to this guy i knew’s house because he had a proper microphone to record my vocals for pine & ginger. (i did eggs aisle that same night, too!) i really just allowed my urge to create take the reigns and it turned out way better than i could’ve ever expected. that’s why i’m so grateful that the kind and awesome big bosses at eqt are letting me release as much as i want (and need) before i complete this album. having the freedom to really tap into my inner child/inner teen/inner soundcloud artist and do things in the way that my younger self would’ve while still abiding by the rules that my present-day and more established self has in place is the type of balance they praise us libras for. as a teenager, i’d sneak to my friends’ houses, they’d make a beat, i’d write a song, we’d record it and then click upload on that bih the very same day. i was constantly expressing who i was in that very moment in an immediate way.

being signed to the right label rocks. understanding who i am as a human being and as an artist also rocks. i’m grateful for my incessant desires to create, express, and be understood. those things have never changed about me; i just learned how to do everything better with age. thank the Lord.

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