my mom used to play Donnie McClurkin’s Live in London and More… allbum allllll day growing up. the song ‘Great is Your Mercy’ was in my head this morning. ‘Call on the Father’ by Beres Hammond was also in my head today. i forgot to set my alarm, but i still woke up with enough time to get ready for work with ease. i have a testimony on my heart this morning…

there’s an opportunity i was presented with that i now desire deeply. i’m being very precious with my thoughts regarding it and the words i’ve used whenever i’ve shared the news. i am being selective with who i share the news with, but not terribly so. i trust that i’m extremely protected and what is for me is for me. this is something i’d normally tell NO ONE about until it’s confirmed, but i feel like it’s mine already so when i do speak on it, i speak on it with conviction. while brushing my teeth this morning, high off my mandatory wake & bake, i had two distinct flashbacks of me telling two different people (that i didn’t know very well) a plan i had in my head that wasn’t yet confirmed in reality, getting a doubtful response from them, and the plan happening as God intended anyway. a verse i quote a lot is “God will prepare for me a feast in front of my enemies.” it happens far too often, in scenarios seen and unseen——known and unknown. an enemy, in this sense, is anyone who hears or sees that i’m going for something and casts even the slightest aspersion on the notion. what’s for me is for me.

story 1: this must’ve been the end of 2021, i released nice, was featured on THIB, and had a spectacular year… i had nowhere to go but up even though i wasn’t sure at all what my next step would be or where my next opportunity would come from. i just knew it’d reach me soon. i was working at my job’s Fairfax location, and had a bit of an ongoing conversation with one of my coworker homies about how feasible getting a tesla really could be. i’d pull up the tesla website on the work ipad, and plug in different numbers to come up with lower and lower payments. i had it set in my mind that a model 3 would be my next car. (my first was a Fiat 500e & my second, the one i was driving at the time of this story, was a Honda Fit.) in february of 2022, i said fuck it and put in an order. if i didn’t come up with the bread or for any reason needed to cancel it before it got to me, i’d just do that. blind faith. fast forward, i get invited to tour with Saba in the spring and on the first day of tour, i signed with my label. the tesla got delivered in june. amen… some time after, i returned to work and at some point, my coworker homie apologized to me for not fully believing that i’d get a tesla. he thought we were just looking at the website for fun, and i didn’t even know that! i was like, “no problem dude,” cause it was never up to his belief in it. mine & the promise of God is what gets me what i want. fuck tesla and elon though! i returned the car when i moved to new york.

story 2: for my 25th birthday, my sweet friend natasha took me to see anora. we went to a theatre i never go to, i feel like we were in burbank or something. i can’t remember. when it ended and we were exiting, we ran into one of her homies who was with his girlfriend and his father. months later, maybe december or january, natasha and i run into them (her homie and his girl) again at the type of evening event in LA where you’re bound to see someone you know. we chat again for a bit, this time more freely as a second meeting sometimes goes, and i mentioned that i’d be moving to new york soon. (no plan had been set in place; my job was still unsure what month we’d be opening, i hadn’t secured an apartment yet. i just knew that soon and very soon, i’d be leaving for new york.) this guy, natasha’s homie, who knew nothing of me or my pockets, kept going: “…yeah but like… new york’s expensive…” anyways, here i am typing from new york.

i want something really bad right now. chlo told me i just need to say that i want it and it’s mine. so, i’m saying it. a lot. and i am believing that it will be mine! i’m so so so grateful for the favor God has given me in this life! i pray he grants me more and more and it drenches me and all my cups overflow. and so it is tbh

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